Friday, September 26, 2014

Infusion Dream


So here's an interesting thing that happens to me . . . I had an infusion dream.
How many of you have infusion dreams?

Well for me this was the first, my very first one in 14/15 years,

This is how the dream goes, I'm in one of the room that I'm placed in with a bed on the second floor of short stay at Scared Heart where I've been doing my infusion since the beginning of time. The setting was just as real as if it was an actual reality infusion day.

However there were a few things that I do often come across every now and then, NEW Nurses. Now what i mean by New Nurses are those that have never access me before and I'm pretty apprehensive on who access me because it the scenario where I want it to go in the first time.

Yes we all hate repeated pokes because the nurse can't get it, but I told this new nurse how to do it and she got it in like a pro. Then my dream fast-forward so I have no idea what went down in the middle of the dream except the ending.

Typically on an infusion day, I'm off being a busy cat doing school work, catching up on social media and such so I rather look at the clock because the previous infusions the clock in the room was not working! 
And yes I do have a phone but this is a time where I don't be on my phone because I got my laptop in front of me.

Now you're thinking, YOUR laptop has a Clock!!!! Well still I don't pay attention to the little numbers in the far right corner of my screen.

So what happens in the dream? My infusion ended at 5:45PM!!! In late PM!!!! My infusion averages at 4 and a half hours, so there's a routine that goes into place.

The rate of the pump increase 50 every 20 mins, my max is 300. The first bottle takes the longest because of the rate changes. Well so when I see the clock inside my dream and it saying 5:45PM I had to figure out WHY did it takes that long?

Well lo and behold the rate was only set at 50 and the nurse never increase it! SO yeah no wondering why it took so long to finish!

Now I'm not sure why I dreamed this but maybe it the stress that I'm under from school and having to really push myself to go above and beyond to understand my classes. But this was just so weird to me. 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

9/11: 13 years later

September 9th, 2001 . . .

For many it was a day where our states was being attacked, we utter silence and in disbelief . But for me it was a different story, in a different view and setting.

I had been in the hospital prior to this date, fight cellulitis in my left eye it was days of pain and minimal vision although I could never really see out of my left eye due to a cornea scarring that I gotten from a virus as a young child.

I had been missing school because of it, the doctors had me on IV antibiotics, since my immune system couldn't fight the cellulitis anyways on its own. I was in and out of sleep because I was in pain so sleep, Tylenol, and cold compression was about the only thing that ward off the pain for just a little bit.

Both my parents had to work because they had taken days off prior because the infection was so bad and it was tough being 8 years old and not really understanding why I kept getting infections all the time. But thankfully the staff on the 6th floor treated me like their own daughter, they told my parents that they would watch over me while they work for half a day, even my grandparents help a little as well.

But I remember that day on 9/11 that my parents or well my dad wasn't suppose to be at the hospital until noon or so and he was there early than expected. I didn't think anything of it because you know I'm 8 so I was just comfortable. Then he turned on the news . . . Go to 1:47

I still didn't know what was going on because one, I'm a kid I don't watch the news but then I saw after the plane had hit the second tower that something bad had happen. Although I couldn't understand what had happen, my dad sat in one of the chairs in the room and he was just glued to the screen although he try to divert his attention to me while watching the news. then we both saw one of the buildings collapsed. that is at 1:23:15

Now 13 years later . . . 

I still remember this day because two major events had happen in my life, our states was under attack . . . many parents and family were wondering if we were all going to be safe. My parents had probably thought that too but they were praying that I would get better from the infection in my eye and start going back to school.

I would ask my friends, what did you remember on 9/11 . . .  theirs answer?
We just sat around in the room while the teachers were focused on the TV in the classroom.

For me my answer will always be, I was in the hospital fighting a horrid infection in my eye but was semi-aware that something else had happen in the world on that day.

I've watch a couple movies that revolves around 9/11 events as well documentaries, and finally began to understand what I couldn't at 8 years old. Our world was attack, our planes were hijacked and many lives were lost.

When I was in Baltimore in the summer of 2013, my mom and I went to the World Trade Center museum that was by the piers and it was a dedicated to all those that risks their life to help hundreds that were hundred of miles away and never returned home. They even had parts of WTC buildings.

I will always remember this day just as everyone else, it's just that mine was a different point of view.